Why do gardeners make great friends? They know how to weed out the bad ones!

 

Why did the lawn mower break up with the hedge trimmer? It found someone more cutting-edge!

 

What did the grass say to the lawn mower? “Cut it out!”

 

Why was the gardener always calm? He had a lot of thyme on his hands.

 

What do you say when your grass is looking great? “You’re rooted in style!”

 

What did one weed say to the other? “We’re just growing through a rough patch!”

 

Why don’t grasshoppers like football? They can’t handle the turf wars!

 

Why did the flower break up with the tree? It needed space to grow!

 

Why are lawns so bad at telling jokes? They always get mowed down!

 

Why did the grass want to become an actor? It wanted to play a starring role in a great turf-rif-ic comedy!

 

What’s a lawn care professional’s favorite exercise? Grass aerobics!

 

Why did the grass always win arguments? It had all the right points!

 

Why did the lawn become a motivational speaker? It wanted to promote growth!

 

Why was the lawn stressed? It couldn’t handle all the pressure to be green!

 

What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a dog? A shaggy mower!

 

What did the lawn say to the garden gnome? “You’ve got me feeling gnome-sick!”

 

How do you compliment a yard? “Your grass looks unbe-leaf-able!”

 

Why don’t lawns ever get lost? They always follow their roots!

 

What do you call it when a lawn gets really big? A ca-grass-trophe!

 

Why did the weeds go to therapy? They needed help getting unrooted from their problems!

 

Why did the gardener bring a ladder? To reach new heights in lawn care!

 

What’s a lawn’s favorite holiday? Mowers’ Day!

 

How do you treat a lawn with confidence issues? Give it a little trim to boost its self-esteem!

 

Why is mowing the lawn a great workout? Because it really cuts down on stress!